Back in the saddle

I have been working since Tuesday, but I'm still not getting the full effect. Since I had off on Monday and we're able to leave at 4, I can't really compare a full week yet. Regardless, it sucks. The job is fine. I am just so torn over the whole super mom, super employee, super student routine. I don't feel like I am able to do it all, but I really WANT to. I keep telling myself that Hannah would need to be in after school care regardless because of my school schedule. Then I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by taking a full credit load, then I remind myself that if I don't I can drag this process on for an extra two years!

I want the challenge, I just want to be a good mom. I am not going to homeschool her, and I know that I wouldn't be happy without having some sort of work. I just could go around and around with no real answer. This seems to be the answer, so I need to be happy... you know? It's not that I'm unhappy. Torn is really the word. It's something that I think most working moms struggle with. Maybe that's sexist. Maybe working dads struggle with it too. I just don't run into it as often when I'm talking to men.

We went grocery shopping and then hit the pool before dark. Now I'm going to try to finish the laundry and clean upstairs some. I am making good progress on putting away my CKU supplies and "goodies". I want the house to be clean when Keith gets home late tomorrow night. He had the house pretty much clean for me. Of course, he had the weekend to do that. I've been going at it all week long. I'm probably making excuses for just being unorganized. I am clean though. You have to give me that. I don't have filth. I just have clutter.

Okay, I'm heading off before I waste all of my spare time this evening sitting here, blogging.