The Layout and Journaling

I am posting my layout. The journaling was done in columns in "Word" and then folded accordian style behind the title which flips out on sticker hinges. The title is just hand cut letters that I printed as an outline on Word in reverse so the lines wouldn't show if I didn't cut them exact. They didn't stand out as much as I hoped after I had already glued them down using "wet" glue, so I outlined them with marker.
The rug is my scrapbook room floor, lol. If you look, you will also see that I accidentally glued the "y" on upside down and then had to use the "h" as a y because I don't waste my paper!


The contest theme was "Why do I scrapbook? Because we teach and we learn from our own experiences." The one thing I have to say in praise of Chatterbox is that they make gorgeous products, but in lieu of that, they ask that entries focus on the photos and the story behind the photos, the journaling, rather than over the top embellishments.

So, here's my story in blue (the journaling in the accordian fold out): You just can’t imagine unless you have been there. Sitting at work, getting a phone call after a trip to the doctor, “Beth, I need to go the hospital, they think I have cancer.” My husband was calm, and I tried to swallow my panic in return. I thought immediately of our daughter who was sitting at school. Her seventh birthday was in two days. She was excited about bringing cupcakes to school. Life was completely normal up until that moment. Now I couldn’t breathe, let alone think of life beyond the present moment.

Her birthday came and went with Keith in the hospital. The next day, we received the diagnosis: Hodgkin’s lymphoma, nodular sclerosis, stage 2B.

The diagnosis produced more questions than answers, but time was limited and visits with the oncologist often left us tongue-tied. I turned to an online support group of other Hodgkin’s survivors. I was grateful for the camaraderie and the information they were able to provide. I received supportive e-mails, tips on what to bring to the office on days Keith would have chemo, what to expect. No pictures though. Just words.

We were told that Keith would need a “port”. No one could show us what it would look like because it is placed under the skin. I started taking pictures of everything to document the journey so we could share with others who would look to me for assistance in the future. Some of the pictures are just horribly graphic and they have been hidden under flaps of paper or slipped in envelopes on a layout. Each layout I finished represented another milestone behind and the process was healing to me. I set out to teach others what to expect, but in looking back, I learned so much about myself. I never imagined I would be able to administer injections to a loved one. I didn’t think I would ever be able to juggle the stress of working, taking care of my husband, and trying to hold it together for our daughter. In the process, I learned that I am a strong and capable. The real life story that I hoped to share with others was exactly the story I needed to hear myself. The story that spoke of my own faith, courage, and strength. The story of my family and how we made it through a difficult time that challenged my husband’s values.

It has been a year since Keith was told he is in remission. He will have to go for regular tests and follow up to make sure the cancer doesn’t return. If he can make it past the five-year mark, he will be considered cured.

Since the word remission was spoken, I started graduate school to become a mental health counselor, took on a new job and moved to a new state to get a fresh start. I don’t take a single day with my family for granted.
I still add to Keith’s Hodgkin’s Journey scrapbook on a fairly regular basis. Now it’s to show not where we have been, but where we are going. I feel blessed that I had a place to turn my emotions loose during a time when I was trying to hold it all together for the sake of my daughter, and because my thick headed (said in a loving way) husband wanted to continue on as if nothing was out of the ordinary all through his treatments.

There were times when I thought I couldn’t go on, that it was too hard to bear or too difficult to see through.
The saying goes, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” I thank God for the rocky road that shaped me.