This is the Slam

(in the words of Toby Mac). What a week it has been. Now that things have been put on the table at work, I can speak freely here. Keith has accepted a job in Charlotte, NC. It is the same type of work, but a company he worked for about 4 years ago. He has slowly been worn down with his present employer and I can't expect him to put up with it much longer. I would like to stay here, but at the same time, I am ready for a change.

I was ready to make the move back to full time, but realized that SEU would never pay me what I was making even 5 years ago. People in similar capacities are making around $25k. To me, that isn't worth the trade off or expense of afterschool care. There are a lot of great people working there, everyone really seems to have a vision for what they want in the future, my time has just run out.

So, there is also a job offer on the table with a third employer in Memphis, TN. The annual salary is better there, benefits start on day one, but from what I've found, the crime rate is higher and the schools aren't as good. We're going to go look around this weekend and see what is there before Keith decides. Maybe we will be pleasantly surprised, but from what I have found, the area we need to live in for better schools and lower crime doesn't have houses that we are terribly interested in.

This past year has been such a challenge. I hate to think we're being too hasty, but Keith's clean bill of health is the opportunity for us to get a fresh start in a new town. He could relapse and we could continue to live in fear of that every day. When does that fear ever really go away? Honestly, I feel it creep into the corners of my mind at the mention of any of my online "listserv" buddies relapsing, whenever Keith goes for a test of some sort, or even when I get a solicitation from the American Cancer Society. About one year ago this time, Keith was in LRMC, fighting off infection and Hannah and I were riding out one of the first hurricanes of the season up at the hospital with him.

Every concern that I have had about moving has been addressed as they arise. I was worried about Keith relapsing or not being able to find an oncologist in Charlotte, and we found out about the time that I started getting nervous again, that our realtor is a non-Hodgkin's lymphoma survivor of 13 years and has an oncologist/hematologist he visits annually. I was disappointed that we didn't just immediately find THE house we wanted, and then when Keith called the employer, they offered us 2 months of transitional housing. I mean, how much more God do you need? You know? So, that's mainly why I see Charlotte as the deal. I am trying to keep an open mind about Memphis though.

I will miss my friends here in Lakeland. It was so easy to get wrapped up in living that I've missed out on friends for months and even years, just taking for granted that they are still out there and still my friends. While Keith was coping with cancer, I shut myself down because I knew if I saw my friends, I would "feel" something and I probably wouldn't have been able to deal with my emotions. Now that I may not have the opportunity to plan that lunch date or just see them one day as I'm in the grocery store, I'm a little bummed that I didn't tend to my relationships better. I will miss my awesome neighbors and I know Hannah will too. She's going to miss all of her friends.

My little sister is married now and looking for a home state of her own. My parents have retirement plans in their future that don't include Lakeland. My brother is doing his own thing. The rest of my family is still in NY. NC is at the half way point between my two points of contact. A day's drive in either direction. Why not?

I've had to drop my classes this semester just because I have no idea if I would be able to stick around and finish them out. Rather be down one term than out a few grand and dropping classes.

The lady that I hit is claiming injuries now. Whatever.

I wish I could share some of the houses that we looked at. I would have been happy in any of them, but some were just better than others. I know that there is the "right" one for us out there. It's just a matter of hunting a little bit more. They were all gorgeous though.

I will miss our house here. We put so much work into it. This is where I brought Hannah home for the first time, all of her birthday parties, found cats that adopted us, etc. I have thought about who will buy our little piece of home and if they will love it as much as we did. Hopefully, we will at least see a return on some of the labors of love we took on.

Well, that's about it for me for now. I am going to go ahead and e-mail this to my friends who don't know I have a blog so they can get the latest and pop in from time to time if they are interested. At the rate things are going, I should be in and out of work the next week or so, then we will be figuring out the actual move. Luckily, they are paying for someone ELSE to pack up our house.

We figure Keith will head up and start work in two weeks. He will find us a place to stay in the interim and a storage facility. Then we will let the movers empty the house. Keith will fly back down and help us spend a weekend back here touching up and cleaning. Shortly after that, we will pile in another car and all head up to where ever we are going to live temporarily. School there hasn't started yet, it starts the last week of the month, so Hannah won't miss out on much.

I will keep everyone posted!